I wish I could shower you with unicorn farts and glitter this fine morning, but no… sorry.
I received (to my surprise) a followup email from the Zon regarding that charge of review manipulation:
Thank you for taking the time to contact us in response to the policy warning.
Our investigations have shown that your account is related to the accounts of customers who have reviewed your book. Our policies state that family members or close friends of authors on Amazon may not write reviews for that author’s book.
We want to call your attention to this policy because violations may result in the removal of your Amazon.com KDP selling privileges.
To learn more about this policy, please see our Customer Review Guidelines Page for Authors (https://www.amazon.com/gp/community-help/customer-review-guidelines-faqs-from-authors).
We cannot share any further information about this warning and we may not reply to further emails about this issue.
It appears my account is in a relationship with another account!
Holy illicit relations, Batman!
How the hell did that happen?
SEE IT HERE FIRST!
Really, guys, are you fucking with me because you can’t control the catfishers and scammers making MILLIONS OF DOLLARS off your lax control and inept oversight. Does it make you feel good…
…does it make you feel righteous?
Do you get your kicks coming after a reviewer-slash-author-slash-customer because she’s an easy target? Because she’d love to take your fucking corporate ass to the legal cleaners but she’s retired, on a fixed income, and can’t possibly dredge up the beaucoup bucks to hit you where it hurts… in your bottom line.
Yeah, you got your ass handed to you with yet another scam. This just out today…
Revealed: How one Amazon Kindle scam made millions of dollars
This… this happens, and to fix it you make ME…
Because that’s what it is. You create phony connections that don’t exist, that you can’t prove, that you are unwilling to rectify even in the face of unjust accusations, threats to destroy my career, and willful impugning of my character?
Yeah, you hit me with this: We understand that you may have manipulated product reviews. No explanation, no arbitration. Just our way or the highway sucker.
I don’t much like being forced into a corner. I may not have resources but I do have choices.
I will no longer write reviews for any books listed on Amazon or Goodreads.
I will continue to do reviews here and on my review blog when it suits. I will continue reviewing for GGR-Reviews.
As for Amazon and its evil sister Goodreads?
I. Am. Done.
And yo, Amazon?
STOP SENDING ME EMAILS ASKING ME TO REVIEW PRODUCTS I’VE PURCHASED, INCLUDING…*GASP*… BOOKS!
Authors, are you faced with reviews being systematically stripped? Are you finding it more and more difficult to get readers to post reviews? Think it’s your fault?
Nope, nuh-unh. Thank Amazon.
Because… now I don’t dare ask for a review on my books just in case an account wants to cozy up with my poor account, or a reviewer is associated with my name because…
…she read the book, maybe even enjoyed it and wanted to tell me (and it’s only the good reviews being yanked by-the-by) and now there’s this… this… this…
Nuts. Screw this. ENOUGH ALREADY.
My blood pressure is out the roof. I’m going to fondle Little Miss Mayhem, yank the last of the tomato plants and otherwise enjoy a pretty Fall day.
Wishing you a measure of peace, today and always.