I have time on my hands as the painters move ladders, paint around the fiddly bits and teeter-totter reaching toward the high ceiling along the stair well.
So, I’ve been entertaining myself looking through Twitter (useless, bloated, self-indulgent) and Face Book (ditto but at least I get to chat with friends). Today’s BIG THING is a barrage of images to support #LGBTQ #Equalrights, a topic which is near and dear to my heart and which I fully support.
Y’all know that… right? If not, maybe you’d best leave now because you ain’t gonna get what I’m about to say next, reading comprehension skills being what they are lately.
You see, I’ve had a bee in my bonnet for some time, a niggling irritation about this concept of rights and how we, as concerned citizens, wish to influence and effect change for the better in our society. No, I’m not running for office. Bear with me.
One way to show support is to post memes and various visual messages to get across the idea that two people in love is just that.
TWO. PEOPLE. IN. LOVE.
Het or otherwise, it’s all the same, and it’s all good. If you don’t believe that at some fundamental religious level, fine, but I’m not talking to you because the odds of me changing your mind are zero to none.
Thanks for reading to this point, but leave.
One other reminder might be pertinent: I write M/M fiction which includes a wide variety of genres, and most include erotic scenes of affection but not always. So I obviously dig the M/M dynamic.
What I’m NOT digging is how the message, which is a GOOD ONE, is somehow visually and otherwise SKEWED almost exclusively toward validating and legitimizing the MALE DYNAMIC without including and giving EQUAL FACE TIME to the other 50% of our population!
To wit: what about the ladies, the gals who form long term, loving relationships, who face the same stigmas, the same ass backwards laws and discrimination as men (only more so because they’re, well…women), but who are little heralded or supported or given the kind of HELL YEAH that guys seem to accrue by virtue of toned abs and a winning bulge.
M/M romance is a HAWT commodity. Lesbian fiction? Meh. No one seems to give a flying fuck, and why is that?
Tell me, because I’m curious: why do men get center stage almost exclusively? And why is it WOMEN ignore their sisters in favor of simpering over M/M relationships that tell only half the story. Why aren’t GAY MEN returning the favor when GAY WOMEN show their love and support for the cause?
Maybe they do, but truth… I’m not seeing it, at least not in the circles I travel.
And I’m here to mention that maybe that’s not right.
The operative terms are: EQUAL RIGHTS and I think it’s time to celebrate the distaff side of this good fight.
So ladies, here’s a HUGE HELL YEAH to you. For your commitment, your generosity of spirit, for the love you are sharing.
Here’s to building a bridge between those gaps in the rainbow.
READ ABOUT THIS INITIATIVE HERE
I am all for building bridges, everywhere with everyone!
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Interesting question. Equality is, yeah, equality, meaning everyone, all equal. So why is it that most LGBT fiction is about gay men, and most of that is written by women? I know from straight male friends that they often find F/F extremely hot. More so than do gay men. Probably the same dynamic as why so many straight women are turned on by M/M fiction. But why? I can’t answer. I support the whole spectrum. It does seem, historically, that female “friendships” were always more accepted, meaning the hand-holding kind of friendships. Spinster “aunts” living together for companionship was accepted, maybe with a raised eyebrow or knowing glance, but bachelor “uncles,” not so much. Backlash? Perhaps in part because the female body has been idealized, idolized, and eroticized in art for just about all of history, while the same kind of erotic idealization for men is only recently “out” (ancient Greece and Rome aside.) I don’t even see the F/F memes to share as I do M/M. So yeah. No answer. Just another bridge builder wanting to understand.
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I honestly believe (and I could be wrong) that the reason that M/M gets more attention is that F/F is *acceptable* to the male-dominated het world. The bible mentions nothing about F/F relationships (OK, one small verse and even that’s mild), while the rants go on about M/M. Why? Because the dadgummed WORLD is a patriarchy. It’s the *men* who are threatened by their own homophobia (closely tied with their own homoerotic urges, suppressed to the point of complete denial); it’s the *men* who are terrified someone will question their sexuality. It’s the *men* who hold the power. And because of that, just as it was with governmental power devolving first to the common *man* and much much later to the woman, common or noble, it is the men who will break this barrier. Women will benefit, but it is the sight of two men together which draws such strong reaction; they are the targets; they are the ones most at risk. Questioning, and overthrowing, the societal expectation that straight white male is the norm, does not recognize women. You’re absolutely correct, and you have reason to know that this issue is close to my heart. However, I see the fight for marriage equality as another weapon against the pervasive patriarchy that has so twisted humanity, and while it would be nice to see more F/F recognition, it’s not likely to happen until the shift away from straight white male power has cleared more of the rubbish of patriarchy from society, and from the expectations that all of us have, however deeply ingrained and therefore unremarked upon they may be. Am I saying that F/F should sit in the corner and wait patiently for the boys to notice us? No. I’m saying that F/F isn’t going to draw fire the way M/M does, because it isn’t the threat that M/M is. If the issue were *truly* same-sex attraction, it would be just as much a threat. The issue isn’t, however. It’s the fear straight white males have of finding out they may not be as straight as they thought. F/F challenges no issues of masculinity. M/M does, and breaking the gender binary barriers is very much a part of getting to the day when for most people, as it is now for me, the only importance gender has is which naughty drawer to open.
You travel in these circles more than I do and I’m sure you’re right that lesbians don’t get the same support as gay men. Why do I say that? Because you can say it about anything female. Women sports stars don’t earn the same money. Women’s sports don’t get the same TV time, or the same audiences. Female politicians are in the minority, as are female CEOs of large companies. Women don’t get paid the same.
We live in patriarchal societies. That is what has to change. But having said that, I’m all in favour of supporting lesbian relationships. As you say, if people love each other, what does it have to do with us?
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