Lights come up slowly to full fluorescence on a room, drab and industrial in décor, one wall cracked in several places. Empty chairs are arranged in an uneven circle: after a moment, figures drift in and take their seats. Last to arrive is the THERAPIST, clad head to toe in black, carrying a small clipboard and sporting the sort of smile which makes small children fear what’s good for them.
THERAPIST: Hello everybody! I’d like to start today’s session with—
A thin, nervous figure puts up his hand, clearing his throat repeatedly.
OPENING TITLE SEQUENCE: Excuse me? Please? Begging your pardon?
THERAPIST: [sighing] Yes, Opening Title Sequence?
OPENING TITLE SEQUENCE: [clearing throat weakly once again] It’s just that I usually start the meeting—
THERAPIST: Yes, yes, I know. But you must understand: it’s not actually helping you, to keep doing this. As I’ve said before…